moving to jack jack just got so much more bearable.
you are spoiled.
are we gonna DO it?
the world is a lot more about being audacious than you think.
you should just treat him like you treat addie!
my new diet is the pits… do you want me to tell you my new diet?
caz you’re secretly Latina
you are just…just…so SARAH. ugh. but in a good way.
Yea I mean it’s not every day that you get called black
okay man maybe we have a lot more work to do here. you do know where babies come from, right?
this game isn’t over till the black girl scores. go for it, sarah.
whoa, how did you get past his secretary?
soldier? i thought i had 00 status.
no, don’t send me her email, i’ll just look through your friends till i find her.
(my dad) oh man did we miss justin beiber’s visit to turkey?*
*we didn’t. we can still buy tickets.
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?
- Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
- Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
- Me: We cool?
- Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
- Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
- Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
- Me: So...can I get out now?
- Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
- Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
- Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.